Feeling like a Turbaconducken

In the above pictures I'm going for the turbaconducken look, featuring my divine body wrapped in fabric the same way you would wrap a turkey in bacon. 

The secret ingredient in my recipe, STATIC! Static can be evil ! We should all fear the well-known static cling! Maybe I am exaggerating a little but after parading my bread (my lovely cocoya) around the streets of Taipei I thought it was my duty to warn you ! 

I have read that to prevent a buildup of static on your clothes, you should keep your natural and synthetic fabrics separate as you tumble dry them or use fabric softener. But who am I kidding, I am currently using a dryer with labels in Chinese so don’t come asking me to do more! 

**If anyone has any QUICK and EASY tricks to get rid of a bad case of static cling please share! The city will appreciate your contribution.